Autumn - A Metaphor For A Balanced Lifestyle

The autumn season in Melbourne, Victoria – the city that has a reputation for its changing seasons in one day – is often regarded the best season for its mild and predicable weather. Temperatures in the mid-low 20 degrees Celsius are often the order of the day, with temperatures in the low teens during the nights. To drive through the leafy suburbs or regional towns is often a spectacle for the visual sensors with the many deciduous trees showing off their autumn foliage with colours ranging from crimson red, gold, orange, yellow to brown, with some patches of different shades of green leaves stubbornly refusing to change to their autumn garb.

Daylesford, a regional town in Victoria I had visited during autumn

Autumn for me is a metaphor for balance. Just like a seesaw that is equally weighted with summer on one side and winter on the other. Autumn on the other hand provides me with the state of climatic comfort and sense of wellbeing.

Talking about wellbeing, I recently had to answer the vexing question on how to achieve a ‘work-life balance’. The person asking was obviously wanting to find a balance between demands of work and the need to find a state of calm on the other side of life’s ledger. I responded by first admitting that I can only share from my own experience. Furthermore, I could draw from the counselling course I completed a few years ago.

On the subject of ‘work-life balance’ I said that I would rather refer to it as a ‘whole-of-life balance’ and not restrict it to work and life. We all need to work. I’m not only referring to working as in employment but the many other activities we do, either volunteering or in a role like a home maker or care giver. I see work as part of life.

Therefore, when considering whole-of-life I would like to think that we are fulfilled when the four dimensions of a person's wellbeing are in harmony. So, in achieving the balance we’re after we need to feel accomplished in the physical, the psyche, the social aspects and spiritual areas in our lives.

Walking is one simple exercise to keep fit

1. Physical

Firstly, the body being the physical side of a person involves things that has to do with exercise, living a healthy lifestyle, grooming, diet and the act of doing things. These also include sleeping and eating habits. We are physically engaged when we are gardening, playing with the children, going for walks, gym workouts or playing golf. Might I add that our working for a salary or as a volunteer is also part of the physical side of being human. We need to be capable and able to do things without overexerting ourselves. Workaholics are prime candidates to consider this area for their whole-of-life wellbeing.

2. Psyche
   

Solving a jigsaw is one way to stimulate the mind

The second aspect of our humanity is the Greek word psyche, from which we get the words psychology and psychiatry. Psyche means 'soul' in Greek. This dimension relates to the mind, the conscience, the will and emotions. This is the cognitive aspect of a person where we exercise our imagination, memory, reasoning, sense of love, affection and care. This can involve using our creative talents for example in painting, composing music or writing. Our mind is also used when telling stories to children or chatting to an elderly person in aged care, especially when recollecting past events, or doing puzzles with them. Adopting a lifestyle of continuous learning is a great attribute to have as it exercises our cognitive abilities. Whether it’s learning a new language, following a design to build a planter box or reading a recipe for baking a cake, all can lead to us living a healthy lifestyle as our cognition is exercised and stretched. Furthermore, by using our ‘psyche’ intentionally we mitigate the risk of mental illness which is so prevalent these days.

3. Social

We are social creatures. Being around like-minded people helps us be connected

The social aspect of our wellbeing is multifaceted. As humans we are social creatures and if we isolate ourselves, we are starved of the relationships which make us whole. Educational leader Dr. Eric Jensen was quoted as saying, "We are social beings, and our brains grow in a social environment." In order to achieve a well-balanced lifestyle our social attributes in our families, among our friends, in our various communities and in society need to be enriching and rewarding. How we socialise with people will have a direct consequence on the relationships we want out of being social creatures.

4. Spiritual

Our spiritual wellbeing is important for our whole-of-life balanced lifestyle

The last dimension to consider for a whole-of-life wellbeing is the spiritual element. This, often neglected aspect of our total wellbeing, is closely linked to the soul or psyche. This dimension relates to a person’s longing for the intrinsic or spiritual elements of hope, faith, the divine and worship. In as much as humans seek social relationships, our spirit or the ‘inner-man’ seeks spiritual relationships that provide comfort, purpose and strength for the soul. People find these in various ways through their different faith practices and beliefs. Many elements of spirituality are universal, whether a person is of faith, an agnostic or an atheist. Yes, even an atheist has a spiritual dimension. While they may not believe in the existence of a supreme being, they may believe in mythical creatures or be involved in Eastern meditative practices like yoga. There is a spiritual dimension and yearning in all of us.

Getting all these four dimensions of a person's wellbeing in balance can be a real challenge in our seemingly busy lives where there is a daily struggle in trying to squeeze as much as we can in each last minute of every hour of every day.

In tackling the question of a work-life balance or whole-of-life balance, my simple reply will be to ask, “Who or what do you love?” It is not a question of whom or what you love more. It is just like having to answer the question “Which of your children do you love more?” You can't. Perhaps an easier question to consider is, "Who and what don't you love?"

If you don’t love what you do, for example the job you're in, the volunteering you do or the daily routine you're facing, then the obvious remedy is to find something that you love doing. You will never be in a state of wellbeing if you dislike - for a prolong period - what you do. Similarly, if you don’t like the situation or environment you are in, either with the colleagues around you or your circumstances, take control and change what you can! Remember the change could be as drastic as leaving or it could be a change in your attitude and mindset. Often what's in our minds, brought about by disappointments, history or external influences, which may be minor can impact our behaviour. As someone once said, “Don’t major on the minor things of life”. It is these minor things that can be easily changed which often are the cause of us using a disproportionate amount of energy on the imbalance we fail to realise.

Self-care in all four dimensions is important when considering a whole-of-life balanced lifestyle. As some of us know there is no magic formula to raising children. Some children need more care and nurturing at different stages of their lives, but as parents we often seem to intrinsically know how much time to provide for each. That intrinsic sense is what I would call the ‘know to care factor’. So, know what and whom you love, and act on your instincts. Remember that when it comes to children, they themselves will learn through their own experiences and with parental guidance learn how to achieve balance in their own lives. When it comes to adults, be guided by the important things in your life. Make sure that your body and health are looked after, your mind is active and cared for, you're socially engaged and that spiritually you’ve found peace, purpose and fulfillment.

If you are stuck in a rut and have no idea where to turn to next, speak to a trusted friend or a counsellor. Preferably a friend who has greater insight to you and who is more mature with the things of life in the physical, emotional, social and spiritual. Proverbs tell us to listen to advice and accept instruction, that we may gain wisdom in the future. I believe this will provide the balance we all long for. I am not however saying that it will be easy. Here’s a quote worth considering; “Life is all about balance. Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you. Trust, but don’t be deceived. Be content but never stop improving yourself.”

Finding a new walking path, to the two we found recently will be my plans this autumn

While it is still the autumn season as I write this essay, I will be taking advantage of the weather before it gets to the extremes of winter which is not my favourite climate season. Love this quote, “Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” So, in the meantime I will be seeking as many opportunities as possible to utilize the milder weather to prepare my garden for a spring harvest, to look up new recipes for my winter cook-off and discover new walking paths, further to the two Jenny and I found recently.

If you need to contact me on any points raised in this essay, please drop me a line at steven@frommydeskathome.com.